Hymn to Anagapesis

Prelude

Hundreds of dark streets passed by. 

I was not in the mood of having fun with my friends. I left all those behind thousand years ago when I was on my death bed. Ah, I can remember that day like it happened yesterday. The green earth suddenly turned reddish brown. 

I don’t know if it was due to the sun or not… I felt terrified. I saw a ridiculously tall figure marching toward me dragging his tall feet on the floor. He was so skinny; the light was piercing through his body. He sat beside me. 

“You”, he said with a strangely calm voice that almost drowned me in a deep trance. “Do you know me??” I couldn’t answer that. “I’m here to tell you a deadtime story. Listen very carefully.” I got confused. I was just looking at him and listening to his deep transcending voice. “Who are you?” I almost didn’t make any sound. “Angel”, he replied. “What is your name?”, I couldn’t resist. “Satan.” He replied looking outside the window. 

The earth has changed its colour to deep purple. I died a short while after he finished his deadtime story.  I don’t remember the story. The only sentence that I can remember is, “… The dark boy went in first and fearless because he didn’t have any heart.”

Chorale 

There are mysteries around us. 

Darkness. 

The sweetest eyes that cry over a simple matter, have the most extreme cases of mysteries that we don’t have the power to imagine. Beyond imagination that is. This way, the greatest laugh, simple cries, and unfathomable love hold the biggest mysteries of life. Darkness is just a human creation to calm themselves up when they don’t understand all those mysteries. That’s why we created monsters, and ghosts, escaping from the colourful mysticism of life.

Mysticism… 

An age-old misconception, because we don’t know the true reason behind us. 

Taqsim

It is 1 am. 

Anything can happen at 1 am. Angels cry, demons lurk, vagabonds hop around the corners, sinners sin and preachers show their secret truths. Everything can happen at 1 am.

I walk around the streets at 1 am. The lights become brighter and brighter yet they light up the street with inexplicable melancholia. There was a snake crawling like an aged man on the street. A car ran over it all of a sudden but it still tried to cross the road living half of it on the street. A cold dark half of it lies on the street. We are much like the snake. Dying, leaving our halves in dismay for a cozy burial ground. We hate to write our depressions because we fear one day it might gobble us up.

I was thinking of my left half that lies on the street somewhere out there who thinks I’m a snake. Cold with never-ending curves of personality. What brings the blame game when we both know we are dying? I don’t blame anything, I walk away with self-influencing shame.

Anything can get ruined at 1 am. Eyes melt, sleeps embrace our troubled hearts. We think we can sleep our pains away but our grey matter keeps them without our knowledge. We sleep believing that our pains will fade but they return to us in dreams. I dreamt yesternight. We were in a room with big windows all around. I was sleeping on a bed covered in satin. It must be satin, it was cold, soft and silky. I was counting my breaths and beats. Clocked in a scheduled manner, I was trying to match my beats with hers. If I don’t synchronize, she might wake up due to the chaos.

I didn’t want to wake her up.

I didn’t want to push words that weren’t in her dictionary. Words are meaningless until you find someone to give meaning to them. What will happen if you find out that, that someone holds all the meaning in the world and you simply don’t find a word to describe the person?

It’s 3 am. Everything falls apart at 3 am.